Wednesday, May 6, 2009

FFC May: Eyes

Foggy memories of her mom’s face were about all that was left, and she clung desperately to those images. Her vision now came to her through her fingertips. Jessie was almost certain she’d recognize blue if she had the chance. She had a vague memory of it being her favorite color but the years had robbed her of the details.

Now, as she sat in the doctor’s office, she struggled to comprehend the fullness of what he was saying. Somebody else’s eyes could restore her sight. Her heart leapt and sank at the same time with the realization that the release from her prison of darkness could only be granted through another person’s loss… another family’s incredible grief. How could she want that?

“Jessie?” She felt her mom’s gentle touch on her arm as she spoke. She could hear the controlled hope in her mother’s voice as she asked, “Jessie, do you know what this means?”

“Yes, mom, I know. I have to hope somebody dies. I have to hope that somebody else’s family suffers just so I can make sure my shoes match without needing help.” She wasn’t prepared for the torrent of emotions that followed. Hope, fear and shame mingled together in her tears. She hoped somebody could free her from her darkness. She feared it wouldn’t happen, and the shame came from knowing her gain depended on somebody else’s death.

Dr. Jason’s voice pushed through Jessie’s emotional maelstrom and she allowed it to be her lifeline for a moment. “Jessie, you only get to hope that you’re a match for someone who’s already chosen to be a donor. In my experience, grieving families are actually comforted knowing that, even though their loved one is no longer with them, they’ve given new life to others.” He paused for a moment before adding, “Death doesn’t get the last word.”

Jessie sighed and suddenly felt very tired. “I… I don’t know, Dr. Jason. How can I even think about being happy when I know somebody else will be so sad?”

“I know it’s a lot to think about, so go on home and do that. Just think about it. All we’re doing at this point is getting your name on the list. And the most important thing to understand is that you’re not hoping to capitalize on another’s tragedy. You’re hoping to be the one who sees to it that another’s gift doesn’t go to waste.”

She barely nodded and reached for her mom. Her mom took her hand and told the doctor they’d be in touch. The walk to the car was bathed in silence. Jessie’s mind reeled with the thoughts of how her life could be changed. The only image she had left was her mom’s face and it was becoming more and more hazy as time marched on. They got to the car and as Jessie put her hand out to orient herself, she wondered if she’d recognize a car if she truly saw one. She smiled a little as she thought of the story of the blind men describing an elephant. She’d like to see a real elephant… In fact, there are a lot of animals that are just beyond imagining. More than anything else, though, she wanted to see her mom’s face again. The way he put it about not letting somebody’s gift go to waste made sense. She could be okay with that.

“Mom?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can you call Dr. Jason and tell him to put me on the list?”

10 comments:

  1. I really like this piece. I actually thought about writing something similar, but you've done it better than my idea. :)

    My only criticism is I wanted to know how old Jessie is. My instinct was to think she's a minor since her mother is helping her, but since she's blind her mom could still help her as an adult. I went back and forth a couple times in the story.

    Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great take on the theme. I had a little trouble with the line where she tries to "comprehend the fullness" of the situation - I'm not sure fullness is the best word here, but that's just a minor thing.

    Overall, well done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you both for your comments. :-) I didn't really have an age in mind, maybe somewhere between a young teen and a young adult - still young enough to let her compassion for others sway her decision, but old enough to have a say in what's decided.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I picture her as maybe a 17-year-old, young enough to be innocent and old enough to start having a larger comprehension of the world.

    My favourite part was this, "She smiled a little as she thought of the story of the blind men describing an elephant. She’d like to see a real elephant… In fact, there are a lot of animals that are just beyond imagining. More than anything else, though, she wanted to see her mom’s face again."

    I enjoyed the feel of this piece.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really liked this! It rang true for me; not a lot of spurious sentimentality, just a very real feeling of sadness and confusion, at the thought of receiving such a donation. I thought the doctor’s handling of the situation was quite well expressed. One tiny area needing rework: in the last full paragraph, you end one sentence with “her mom” and begin the next with “her mom”, one right after the other. Otherwise, great story!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really liked this! It rang true for me; not a lot of spurious sentimentality, just a very real feeling of sadness and confusion, at the thought of receiving such a donation. I thought the doctor’s handling of the situation was quite well expressed. One tiny area needing rework: in the last full paragraph, you end one sentence with “her mom” and begin the next with “her mom”, one right after the other. Otherwise, great story!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry, not sure why my comment posted twice, unless to make it twice as nice... LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you, synch & wintr. I had hoped the bit about the elephant didn't feel out of place, but it's exactly where my mind jumped when her hand landed on the the car, knowing that the bit she felt couldn't give her a complete picture. And, wintr, I wasn't totally satisfied with the double "her mom" either, but a suitable alternative just didn't present itself.

    Thanks,everybody, for such positive comments. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I liked this. It has a solemn sort of feel to it. I liked the concept and the dilemma of wondering about that dead person.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good take on the topic. I felt very close to the main character as she struggled with her thoughts on whether to take the donor eyes. I liked the way you handled the inner debate she was having. I like it.

    ReplyDelete